The Cost of Discipleship

I recently finished a book called "Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ" by Jeanne Guyon.

I figured, what could be better than having a deeper relationship with Jesus? As I read the book, I quickly realized that it wasn't going to be a warm fuzzy, "5 easy steps/tips for a better Christian life", type book. Here's a sample from the book where she discusses abandonment, one of the key points in the book...

"Abandonment is casting off all your cares. Abandonment is dropping all your needs. This includes spiritual needs...All your concerns go into the hand of God. You forget yourself, and from that moment on you think only of Him.
By continuing to do this over a long period of time, your heart will remain unattached; your heart will be free and at peace!
How do you practice abandonment? You practice it daily, hourly, and by the moment. Abandonment is practiced by continually losing your own will in the will of God; by plunging your will into the depths of His will, there to be lost forever!...Abandonment must reach a point where you stand in complete indifference to yourself...Become abandoned by simply resigning yourself to what the Lord wants, in all things, no matter what they are, where they come from, or how they affect your life".

In reading this book, I'm confronted with the reality of how full of myself I really am. When growing closer to him means death to self...I pause, then take a step forward...wait, that hurts, this can't be right! Again, Christ calls me to take his hand and walk with him, leaving myself behind. Maybe, I don't need to have such a deep walk with him...Perhaps there could be some kind of compromise. Now I'm at the heart of the matter, am I really willing to bring all of my life under his Lordship, to let go of everything...to become indifferent to my own needs a desires, am I willing to abandon all to simply walk with my Savior?

Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, "When Jesus calls a man, he bids him to come and die" Western Christianity is often at odds with biblical discipleship, in many cases American Christianity has warped us. We've set the bar so low for discipleship that we actually think that if we're experiencing pain we must be doing something wrong. The very path that Christ calls us to walk is one marked with pain and sacrifice. Dying to self in inherently painful!

So, why would anybody be willing to give up everything to follow Christ anyway? Once you've seen Jesus, Once you've been touched by Him, Once you've been in His presence...You know why. Like the pearl of great price or the hidden treasure in the field, no cost... is too high!

Paradoxically, the greatest freedom is dying to self in surrendered abandonment to Him...the very thing we resist! I pray that in 2010 we spend time in His presence, see His beauty, experience His touch and leave ourselves behind in the process. It's the only way we can truly know Him. We must decrease so that He can increase.